We left off last month with, “I honestly don't know what it will be like after Monday, November 7th”. What I can say now is I have lived a lot of life in the past 28 days! So much fell apart in just one week, and yet, between the tears and the telephone calls, the emails and the workouts, the stories and the hugs, I have continued to trust that it will all be okay, however it works out.
I have been reading and reading about rotator cuffs. I’ve been reading and listening and practicing a new to me method of how to “integrate the rest of the body in a meaningful way”. I am feeling newly inspired, and at the same time set back. I have been working with a new to me physical therapist who is helping me figure out how to activate only my lower and mid trapezius, without firing the upper trapezius.
Integration and isolation. Creating better strength through patterning full body activation- feet to legs to core to arms to hands. That, and knowing what it feels like to move ONLY the right shoulder blade closer to the spine.
The pairs of opposites, the yes to both has been a fundamental truth in my life and practice. With that, I travel further into being human, along the path of kinesiology.
Give me less arm”, is my favorite new saying from my new PT. I am still learning how to move JUST the shoulder blade. She also taps on the top of my shoulder frequently, her non-verbal cue to not use those muscles while my arm is in motion.
This is going to take determination, constancy and probably years of conscious activation, but I’m okay with that. Whether I have the muscles surgically reattached or join the large population of humans who live with massive tears, I will be better off by doing this work.