The Five Remembrances/ The Five Invitations

The Five Remembrances:

1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Plum Village Chanting Book.

Mother's Day 2005

The Five Invitations:
1. Don’t wait.
2. Welcome everything, push away nothing.
3. Bring your whole self to the experience.
4. Find a place of rest in the middle of things.
5. Cultivate ‘don’t know’ mind.
​Frank Ostaseski, The Five Invitations; Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully

The teachings are for the purpose of giving us the right understanding. If we don’t understand rightly, then we can’t arrive at peace.
– The Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah

• My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
• Cultivate ‘don’t know’ mind.

Saturday early evening John and I awaited the 8 PM, 3rd and final X-ray the veterinary intensive care team would take of Annie’s gut. This would be the deciding factor as we would see whether the bone blocking her system would ever move. She had been sick now at least 48 hours. We had spent a long visit snuggling with her earlier in the afternoon. Her eyes didn’t look good but there had been a glimmer of hope. A second fragment of bone had moved and she passed some gas and burped after John massaged her tummy.

Waiting to return to the veterinary hospital, the only thing on my mind was an intense drive to pour through 17 years of photographs. Annie and her “brother” Max, John’s son, John and myself. All the adventures and non-adventures of daily life. Photographs triggering sensory impressions stored in my tissues of our lives’ story. Grounding my heart to the truth: I had worked hard to be the dog mom Annie deserved.

Michelle with Max and Annie at Summit Lake 2005

• All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
• Find a place of rest in the middle of things.

I knew I wanted Annie the moment I saw her picture on the shelter’s available for adoption list. I drove to meet her right away, and it seemed as she perched on my lap that she had adopted me, too. Every single thing about her was precious to me. The way she trotted, how she slept, the softness of her ears, how she had her own ideas and especially the sound of her breathing.

Max and Annie December 2002

• I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
• Don’t wait.

As she aged, Annie didn’t want to go for long walks or hikes in the woods anymore. She only liked to cuddle first thing in the morning and just when I arrived home from work. Any other time she would get up and walk away from me.

2017 Taylor Creek Walk

• I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
• Welcome everything, push away nothing.

Annie’s personality changed after her brother, Max, died. She began having what are called “Complex Partial Seizures”. They would always happen during the night, lasting between 4-12 hours. It was many months until I sleuthed out what was wrong, the right veterinary care to stop the seizures.
She became obsessed with eating, hunting for any bone in the bushes on our short walks around the neighborhood. I had been afraid for years she would eat something on a walk that either would poison her or asphyxiate her. In the end she died from eating a bone that became caught between her stomach and duodenum. I did my best to protect her all these years but could not prevent the last couple of days of her life in a kennel at the veterinary ICU.

John and Annie at the Hospital

• I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
• Bring your whole self to the experience.

We were with Annie, whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you” endlessly, my face against hers, my body against hers. She was racked with pain, so much so we could not hold her to the pain any longer. We brought her body home and buried her.
Absolutely everything in this universe is subject to change. Coming home without Annie there, waking up without Annie there, I feel so much sorrow. It is a un-ignorable reminder the practice is to be intimate with the nature of the universe.

Practice is intimacy; life and death are intimate”
​– Frank Ostaseski, The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully